


all too well

by 96therondale



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:13:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28595280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/96therondale/pseuds/96therondale
Summary: juyeon and kevin dancing in the kitchen at 12am while they make midnight snacks while juyeon just stares lovingly at the other who's oblivious because he was too busy belting out the song lyrics of their favorite song.
Relationships: Choi Chanhee | New/Lee Juyeon, Lee Juyeon/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 48





	all too well

Kevin was staring at his coffee for so long now, before he took his eyes off from it now. He kept his gaze outside the café he’s in, he looked through the window chasing cars in his mind. Slowly distracting himself from what was really supposed to happen, his mind flew elsewhere. He distracted himself by tapping his fingers on the table, counting the customers slowly entering the café.

He checked his phone, turned it off again. He checked his watch, and looked away again. Kevin knew he just wasted his time coming here two hours early before meeting his client. It’s a house, mainly a rest house in the woods. It was a big old house, one that’s ancient and old. Kevin accepted the proposal since he wanted to design a house located in the woods ever since he was still young. Well, he’s just going to renovate it but it still made him excited about the whole thing.

Maybe he came here earlier out of excitement, or maybe he was just preparing himself to meet a long-time friend. Kevin hasn’t seen Chanhee for so long, it’s been years since he saw his closest college friend. They were dorm-mates at the university before. After they graduated, Chanhee went to Europe for his fashion-designing dream. They had no contact ever since, two-years already passed since he last had a conversation with him. Of course he missed him, they saw each other’s worst during their university life.

He heard the chime of the café entrance door and immediately recognized the person who went in. Choi Chanhee, dressed in his simple knit sweater which made his appearance soft but still classy. His face more ethereal than the last time Kevin had seen him. His closest college friend. Chanhee saw him, made his way towards him with the same smile Kevin knew from years ago.

“Kevin Moon! It’s been a long time!” the tall blonde haired boy approached him with glee, happiness written on his face. “Chanhee-ya!” Kevin couldn’t hold back himself anymore, he launched closer to Chanhee, hugging him again after years. The two of them clung to each other for a minute or two, before Chanhee released him and gestured for the both of them to sit down.

“So! How are you? It’s been years!” Chanhee started off. He watched him relax on the chair, bringing his hand to the side of his face. “I’m good! I heard you’re a big fashion icon in numerous countries now! Time flies so fast, huh? I remember back then, you were just posing in front of the mirror mix-matching clothes. Look at you now!” Kevin felt excited to talk about him, he was his first support system back in the years.

Chanhee chuckled sweetly, his eyes forming a crescent moon. “Don’t remind me of that! Now, let’s talk about you! Most-talked about Architect in the country,” Chanhee wiggled his eyebrows at him, making Kevin burst in laughter. It’s been so long, but Kevin still felt like they were back in college. It didn’t feel like simply catching up with an old friend, because their connection is still there. He still felt close to Chanhee even if they haven’t talked to each other for a long time.

They talked about each other’s careers, how the years passed by so quickly they’re both beyond living on their dreams they worked hard for. They also went back in time, reminiscing the days in the university where they camp-out every term break for a breather. Both of them got carried away, seen in their eyes is the longing and beauty of the friendship they both started.

“So, why did you hire me to renovate the house you bought? I was surprised when I got the call! I thought you prefer living in the city,” Kevin started, the topic slipping off his tongue as he switched to his professional mode. The Architect Kevin Moon mode. “Oh! I just got married months ago, and my husband made me realize that it will be nice to have a home outside the city, whenever we’d want to take a break from our works.”

_Married._ Kevin was shocked, that was why Chanhee has a ring on his finger. He honestly thought it's just for his friend's outfit, but now he realized what it's for.

“You’re married?! And I wasn’t even informed?! My dearest Chanhee, I may be offended,” Kevin made a dramatic gesture, which got Chanhee laughing again. “Hey! I didn’t know how to contact you Mr. Famous Architect! I honestly even thought you forgot about me already!”

“How will I forget my college roommate? You should’ve called me! I would answer right away! And you’re the Mr. Famous here!” the two continued to blabber and joke around, when Chanhee’s phone rang. Kevin gave him a nod of approval, and Chanhee picked up his phone.

“Oh, okay okay. You’ll be there? I’ll bring him? It’s okay with you? Yay! You’re the absolute best, jagiya!” Chanhee sounded excited talking to the phone, Kevin assumed it was his husband just by seeing the ease of his friend’s vibe. “Kevin, are you free right now? We can visit the house today!”

“Really? I don’t have any schedule for today, so I’ll come with you!” as Kevin says this, Chanhee clapped around like a kid. It was so obvious that he was excited, Kevin assumed the sudden visit to the house Chanhee wants him to renovate was unexpected. He just thought they would be talking about it first, but maybe the universe gifted this to him. He also wanted to spend more time with his friend.

Both of them made their way out of the café, and entered Chanhee’s car. Chanhee insisted they should just use one, in order for them to talk about themselves more while they’re on the way to the place. The sunlight peaked through the series of trees, the music dominating Chanhee’s car as Kevin looked outside the window. It was a fresh afternoon out of the city.

He felt himself relax to Chanhee’s voice telling him stories about how he and his husband met. He laughed when Chanhee said he rejected him before, and then he softened all over when Chanhee told him how they both found each other again years later, following their dating stage and marriage.

The trip wasn’t long, it wasn’t short too. When they reached the destination, Kevin was in awe. The whole surroundings of the place was so dreamy, and Kevin suddenly remembered his childhood dreams where he wanted to have a house deep in nature. They walked a little bit before they reached the main gate, a car parked in the near entrance. _Oh, must be Chanhee's husband._ Kevin silently told himself.

It was a big house. It looked like it was straight from a fairytale itself. Vineyards, numerous flowers peeking through old structure of it. Kevin already had ideas in mind how to renovate the whole place. He really wanted to do this since he was young, after all. And doing this for his friend made it a lot even better, him designing a home for Chanhee and his other half. It was an honor for Kevin to fulfill this own dream of him for Chanhee.

“Stay here for a while, will you? I’ll just find my husband so you can be properly introduced to each other,” he smiled to Chanhee, and proceeded to examine every corner of the house. His ideas slowly forming in his mind, the creativity so many people adored.

The living room was bigger than he expected, he already had some ideas ready for the re-arrangements of the room. There was also a grand piano located at the near window, and Kevin had the sudden urge to try playing it. He relaxed his fingers on the piano keys, inhaling the faint breeze of nature. He hasn’t played the piano for so long now, because his fingers were so used to holding a pencil. Drawing future homes of his clients. He found himself familiarizing the notes, his fingers sliding from one key to another. _Ah, I missed this._ He surely missed playing music, sadly he can’t play more often now since he’s too busy for it.

The melodies dominated the living room of Chanhee’s house, every sound of it a music to Kevin’s ears. He’s freestyling, just pressing the keys as he used to years ago. Indulging in the moment and admiring the present memory he’s living in.

“Oh, you’re playing again! It’s been years since I last heard you play the piano! You used to join recitals and musicals before! Ah, it’s quite nostalgic!” he heard Chanhee’s voice and his fingers left the piano keys. Kevin slowly turned around and he was welcomed by Chanhee’s fingers entertwined with a hand larger than his, and as Kevin brought his gaze up, _he saw a familiar face he spent years forgetting._

_The same angled eyes, pointed nose, heart-melting smile._ He looked more mature than Kevin last saw him, which is already years ago. Too long, too late. “Kev?” Juyeon stared at him in shock, but immediately replaced it with a smile. _As if he was waiting for this moment in a long time._ Kevin couldn’t move. He tried to smile, but he failed. And then he was brought back to reality again.

“You know each other? Great! But ah- jagiya! You didn’t mention Kevin to me before!” Chanhee then faced his husband, also processing what he just witnessed. “I did! I told stories about my best friend didn’t I? It’s Kevin! Or maybe I just didn’t name him? Ah—I keep on forgetting because of how much I have told you already!” Kevin felt invisible, he felt like a ghost. Observing the both of them is unreal, he couldn’t grasp the moment he’s in.

“Hey, Ju! It’s been a long time!” finally, Kevin forced himself to smile. The turn-in of events was something he didn’t expect at all. _His best friend. His first love. Married to Chanhee, his own person._

Juyeon smiled again, and Kevin felt everything around him blur. He’s keeping it all in, not talking much and just nodding and gesturing whenever Chanhee or Juyeon turns into him. The married couple kept talking, as Kevin slowly follows them around the house. They’re doing a little house tour, and he hoped that Chanhee and Juyeon knew he was being quiet was because he’s thinking of ideas for the house. _And not for whatever memories kept crashing on Kevin when he lays his eyes on Juyeon._

The three of them reached the kitchen. Another set of memories entered Kevin’s mind again, with the familiar lyrics of a song he used to sing.

\-- _photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red—_

_And suddenly, Kevin was young again. Young and in love. With Lee Juyeon, course._

_They were both in the kitchen making midnight snacks in the middle of a busy month, it was their routine whenever they were too stressed in school. Random late night hang-outs, and screaming out song lyrics not caring about their neighbors. Juyeon kept taking polaroid pictured of Kevin while his busy singing his heart out and making some snacks for the both of them. The little photo album sprawled across the counter, with messy arrangements of the pictures Juyeon took._

_\--you used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed_

_and your mother's telling stories about you on the tee ball team—_

_Juyeon kept teasing Kevin when he pointed some pictured of Kevin in his early childhood wearing glasses. Of course Kevin also teased Juyeon about his mom’s story of him when he was a member of the tee ball team in his childhood. The both of them chasing each other around their small kitchen in the house they share._

_\--you taught me about your past thinking your future was me_

_and i know it's long gone and there was nothing else i could do_

_and i forget about you long enough to forget why i needed to—_

He looked over Chanhee and Juyeon, comprehending how the two met. But then, the compatibility of the both of them was enough for Kevin to know the answer. He remembered, Juyeon having a crush on someone who rejected him. Chanhee telling Kevin a while ago in the car about how he met his husband. _Chanhee saying he rejected him when they first met. Juyeon’s story about someone he had a crush on but unfortunately, he was rejected._

The clues were right there, and Kevin knew better than to ignore it. He wondered if Juyeon told Chanhee their whole history of friendship, how they also had both friendship and relationship found in each other. But that was the least of his concerns now, what matters here is that, after all those years Juyeon remembered him. He told Chanhee stories about him didn’t he? One thing Kevin realized, is that no matter how he thought of himself being someone better than the person who rejected Juyeon years ago, Chanhee will still be the best.

They found each other. Juyeon and Chanhee made their way to each other’s lives, as if one of them is the missing piece of a puzzle Kevin built. While he was watching his friend and his first love roam around the kitchen, he imagined himself reliving the very same memory he replays every now and then.

_\--cause there we are again in the middle of the night, we're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light—_

_He was once again brought back in the small little island he and Juyeon shared. In the messy kitchen at 12am, being young and in love. Chests pressed close to each other, feeling every faint heartbeat they share._

_As Juyeon spun him around, they both laughed in the goofiness of them both. Enjoying the moment Kevin knew he’ll always visit in his memory._

_\--down the stairs, i was there, i remember it all too well—_

Kevin was carried away, he’s not going to deny that. He felt himself imagining things, one where Chanhee and Juyeon stars in.

He didn’t know why, but he felt himself smile sadly at himself. Juyeon found his eyes and caught his smile, they both stared at each other for a moment, then Kevin didn’t knew who in both of them decided to slip away first. Flashbacks slowly entered Juyeon’s mind, taking him back to the moment when he realized he’s in love with his bestfriend. How could Juyeon ever forget that? They were both walking down the street as Kevin crouched down when he saw a small kitten, earning him the nickname Juyeon only calls him.

He thought of him beautiful. He was always beautiful in Juyeon’s eyes. He was the moon shining in his dark path, leading him towards the place where he found himself always running to. These specific memories holds a dear place in Juyeon’s heart, for it taught him how to experience love and lost himself in it. As he looked at Kevin talking to Chanhee, his husband where he found himself loving unexpectedly, he wonders if there are also what if’s lingering in Kevin’s mind. And there really is.

“So, I had a few ideas in mind for this house of yours. I can sketch them out and have it delivered to the both of you, or we can meet again some time for the actual work I’m about to make,” Kevin stopped his reminiscing of past memories and switched back to his professional mode again. He almost forgot that he’s here for work, and not in whatever unfinished business of his past.

It suddenly crossed his mind how he came to like this particular set-up, him loving a home surrounded by nature in the woods. Juyeon was the one who made him love it. Before, Juyeon would lay his head on Kevin’s lap while he reads a book and tells Kevin how he loves to have a house in the middle of the woods just like in the books he read in between the lines. And Kevin loved everything Juyeon did, but never did he imagined he would have to teach himself love Juyeon when he’s married to a person he also deeply adored.

“We can set a date! I know jagiya will look forward to our meetings more, now that he knows you’re my bestfriend from my stories. We should definitely catch up soon, right Chani?” Juyeon looked at Chanhee so lovingly and he felt himself flinch a little at the nickname. Juyeon always loved giving nicknames he personally made. He still hasn't changed.

This whole unexpected encounter made Kevin realize that he really needed to let go of one aspect in his life—and that is Juyeon. Never once crossed his mind they would meet again in an unpredicted time, after they fell apart and bid their goodbyes to both friendship and relationship they shared and experienced and learned from.

Chanhee left them suddenly, making his way towards the garden which left Juyeon and Kevin alone. This is also something Kevin didn’t notice it was coming. The silence of the both of them was deafening, until Juyeon decided to broke it. “When I first saw him again after years, I knew it was a sign that it’s something worth it to try again. He’s the one I told you before—the one who I got rejected from.” Juyeon chuckled at himself, sweeping his hair from forehead to the other side. “But it was different that time, his eyes showed attention. He was interested. We took things slow before we finally settled down. It was different with him, different from what we both had.”

Kevin stiffened. “I had always imagined you ending up with someone who’ll defy you in some ways, someone that will make you burst out of your bubble. Before, I thought it was me. But then it made sense, after looking at you and Chanhee. I adore him, he was my bestfriend when you were gone. He didn’t exactly took your place, but he was there.”

Juyeon slowly shifted his gaze to him, looking at Kevin eye to eye. “You still are. My bestfriend. It never changed, kev—kitten—it never did.” Kevin crossed his arms around his chest and looked at Juyeon, an art he found beautiful but now someone different holds the paintbrush, and that isn’t him. “Me too. We’re both happy now aren’t we? I was a chapter. And he was the ending. I’m happy that you both got to find each other after everything.” He smiled at Juyeon, one that is true. One that he remember himself flashing when they were still both young.

Chanhee went back, and Kevin found himself joining the other two in their shared topics. Something that he couldn’t do a while ago. The realization just settled in, it was a mere moment in which he finally remembered where his place is. And that is in this house, being Chanhee and Juyeon’s Architect. Not an old friend, not an ex lover. He was Kevin Moon. The person who’s successful in his career, a professional that many people admired.

He strode his way first followed by the married couple, voicing out the creative ideas he has in his mind for the future home he’ll soon make for the both of them. As he looked over Chanhee and Juyeon’s entertwined fingers one last time, he smiled to himself thinking he doesn’t have to remember everything they shared all too well. He’s Kevin Moon, and he knows that he’s enough.


End file.
